Rerouted
by Anita
Summary: House and Cuddy. Alone. One car. Four hours. You do the math.
1. Changing Gears

Many people asked for me to add more to the premise of the chapter I recently wrote for my other fic Sub Rosa Symphony. You can read that as a pre-cursor, or simply enjoy this on its own. Thanks. :)

* * *

Re-Routed

"Alright, let's get this show on the road."

"House…"

"C'mon Cuddy. I'll even get things started."

She sighed in defeat. "Fine."

"I spy with my little eye…" He proclaimed in a singsong voice. "Two things that are **perky**."

Cuddy glared at House as he leered at her.

"I am not sitting here for the next four hours while you ogle me, House. You do enough of that when we're at the hospital."

"Hey, I just thought we'd pass the time before we get to that conference. But if you don't want to play 'I Spy', suit yourself." House shrugged.

"Just sit still, and be quiet." Cuddy demanded.

He nodded sagely, folding his hands in his lap. Cuddy gave his compliance a slightly shocked look and continued to drive.

Maybe she would be lucky enough to get a couple of hours of peace and quiet.

* * *

The long expanse of the road extended for an eternity, showing no signs of ending. Cuddy was certain she had never driven this much in her life. She hoped that the conference would be worth it.

She glanced over at House, finding him fast asleep in his seat. It was much better than the alternative of him trying to figure out the most efficient way to irritate her. A sleeping House was a House who wasn't scheming, for the time being.

She wondered if someone up there loved her enough to let him sleep for the whole trip.

Suddenly, she heard a loud, grating, unpleasant sound.

"Great, just what I need…" Cuddy muttered under her breath.

House, who was sleeping as soundly as a newborn, was also emitting a noise louder than an elephant. She had never heard anyone snore so loudly.

She tapped him gently on the shoulder, but he did not stir. Instead, he began to snore more fiercely. She sighed before hitting him hard in the stomach.

"Ah!" He squealed, waking up with a start.

"Good, you're awake." Cuddy replied with a smirk.

"What did you do that for?" House shouted.

"You were snoring so loudly, I thought I was having engine trouble." Cuddy shot back.

"I am definitely not going on anymore road trips with you ever again." He pouted.

She snorted. "Fine by me."

House stared at her out of the corner of his eye. "You'll pay for that…" He mumbled under his breath.

"What?"

"Nothing. Can I at least turn on the radio?" House asked.

"Yeah, sure." Cuddy answered, keeping her eyes on the road.

He turned on the radio and set the volume to its loudest setting.

"House!" Cuddy screamed, but her voice was drowned out by the music.

House grinned evilly and lowered his car window.

"Now this is more like it!" He yelled back.

Cuddy moved her hand to turn the radio off, but House smacked it away.

"No! Don't turn it off!"

"Give me one good reason not to, House."

"This is our song!" He smiled at her warmly.

She looked at him incredulously. "Mmm-bop?!"

"Ba doo ba dop!" He agreed.

Cuddy rolled her eyes and turned the radio's volume down. "Either I'm getting smarter, or your excuses are becoming more ridiculous."

"But still, you didn't turn the radio off." He gave her a smug look.

She grimaced. "Shut up, House. I'm trying to be nice here."

"Or maybe you do realize that these deep lyrical words describe our unshakeable bond perfectly." House mocked; Cuddy didn't even dignify him with an answer.

"…Or, that wonderfully infamous Cuddy guilt is kicking in again. You're probably feeling bad for waking me up, aren't you?"

"I told you to shut up." She grumbled.

"You're cute when you try to ignore me." House replied with a wink.

He studied her closely, waiting for a reaction to his comment, but her face was blank. No anger, no embarrassment. None of the signs he was looking for. He sighed inwardly. He wasn't succeeding at pushing her buttons; he wasn't getting anything from her.

"Fine, here's the deal: If you're feeling guilty, then be a nice boss lady and take a stop at that gas station. I'm going to go stock up on candy."

She shot him an annoyed look.

"Please?" He pleaded. "I'll even pick up something for you."

"Fine."

Cuddy parked at the gas station as House quickly swiped the wallet from her purse.

"I'll be back in a flash!" He proclaimed, rushing off to the store inside.

Cuddy didn't believe in Karma, but she wondered what sins she had committed to deserve such hell.

* * *

"Honey, I'm home!" House announced joyfully as he returned to the car.

"Did you get your candy?" Cuddy asked through gritted teeth.

"Stockpiled. And I even got you something, just like I promised." He tossed her a pack of cigarettes.

"House, you know I don't smoke!" She exclaimed.

"Oh, pity. Well, then I guess you can keep these for later. They'll be good for trades. You know, for when you're in jail."

"What?"

"Well, judging by that murderous look you're giving me, I'm a goner. Jail isn't pretty, but maybe you'll get lucky and they'll give you the chair."

Cuddy laughed, releasing some of the tension in her shoulders. "I'm not **that** mad at you, House."

"Good." He answered softly, unable to look her in the eye.

"House…it's just, well, do you always have to be so **difficult**?"

He shrugged. "It comes naturally to me."

"It definitely does…"

"Look, Cuddy, I will try to be good. I'm not making any promises, but I will **try**."

"Really?" She asked, raising an eyebrow questioningly.

"I've never backed down from a challenge." He grinned at her. She laughed.

"Thanks." Cuddy smiled at him. "That's all I ask."

She was surprised to find him smiling back.

"Cuddy…" He began, her name sounding delicate, tender. Lighter, simpler.

But the moment was cut short as a sharp hiss filled the air, and the car began to slow down.

"Oh no. You have **got** to be kidding me!" Cuddy protested as the car came to a stop.

"Oh, great." House complained.

Cuddy looked at him, astonishment, irritation and resignation clear upon her face.

"Sorry Cuddy, you can't blame this one on me!"

* * *

...To be continued!


	2. Top Speed

Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed. Unfortunately, this is the last part of this fic. I just have so many other fic going on right now. It's crazy! But hopefully you enjoyed it while it lasted. :) Reviews are highly appreciated along with any concrit. Thanks again for reading!

* * *

"Help me with this, House." Cuddy grunted in anger as she slowly yet surely pushed their now-stalled car along the shoulder of the road.

"Where are you going, Cuddy? We're in the middle of nowhere."

"I'm **trying** to get our car to that gas station over there."

House peered off into the distance. "Jeez, it's so far away. That's one tough job you've got there."

"It wouldn't be as tough if you came over here and **helped** me, House!" Cuddy seethed.

"You can't possibly be asking the feeble guy with the cane to push that huge vehicle." House protested innocently. "Besides, I'm in the middle of something."

He pulled out a gummy bear from his pocket and began to take aim, watching the oncoming traffic closely.

"What are you doing?" Cuddy asked, her anger replaced by sheer incredulity.

"Seeing how many windshields I can nail with these awesome gummy bears you bought for me. Thanks." House grinned at her cheekily.

"Glad I could be of so much help…" Cuddy muttered as she continued to push the car along.

She sighed, realizing that at the very least, things couldn't get worse. She just had to keep her calm.

So she kept her mouth shut when she felt gummy bears pelting the back of her head.

* * *

Cuddy let her shoulders fall in relief as they finally neared the gas station.

"Ok, House, I am going in there to ask for help. Stay here and just…don't do anything."

"Yes'm. You're the boss."

Cuddy stepped into the station and walked toward the man behind the counter.

"Hi. My car broke down and I was wondering if you could fix it?"

The man gave her a confused look.

"I'll pay you, of course…" She added, mirroring his confusion.

"¿Hay un problema?" The man asked.

"Um…"

"Hablo solamente español, señora." He explained.

Cuddy sighed. "You don't know any English? At all?"

"You are so lucky that I'm always there to rescue you in my heroic and humble manner, Cuddy." House said, walking up behind her.

He turned to the man behind the counter. "Hola señor. ¿Puede usted fijar nuestro coche? Seríamos muy agradecidos."

"Sí, señor. Enseguida." The man promptly rushed out to check on the car.

House leaned on his cane, the pride clear upon his face. "Admit it Cuddy. As many times as you try and get rid of me, it will never do you any good. You need me."

Cuddy looked at House in silence. It was an admission she would never make out loud. It was a confession she would never give him.

But it was the truth.

* * *

"Well, it's fixed. All thanks to yours truly." House beamed at her as she pulled out her wallet and turned to the mechanic.

He shook his head. "Husband. Great man."

"Husband?" Cuddy questioned House.

He smiled innocently at Cuddy. "We're on our honeymoon. At least, that's what he thinks."

"But why won't he let me pay?" Cuddy asked, ignoring his last comment.

"I may have told him a bit about myself. And he may now be under the impression that I am the noblest, handsomest, most caring doctor this world has ever known. But other than that, I have no idea why he doesn't think we should pay him." House explained, popping a gummy bear into his mouth.

Cuddy shook her head. "House, you are unbelievable. At least you saved us some money…"

She took her place in the driver's seat as House took his next to her. They smiled graciously at the mechanic.

"¡Gracias!" House shouted as they sped off.

* * *

"So, you admit that I saved the day?"

Cuddy sighed. "Yes. For the fifth time, I admit that you saved my butt."

"That's one of my favourite parts." House agreed with a wink.

"And we're back to the crude comments."

"Fine, I'll stop. But I get to ask you one question."

"One question? What?" Cuddy glanced at him curiously.

House paused for a moment, slipping out of his frivolous mood.

"Why did you save me from Tritter?"

Cuddy felt a lump catch in her throat. They hadn't spoken of the Tritter fiasco in ages. She had actually preferred it that way…

She turned away from him, refusing to answer.

"I saved the day, Cuddy, I think I deserve at least one answer."

"Well, you're an important attribute to the hospital. If you were taken away because of Tritter then…" Cuddy stuttered out, the words sounding forced.

House rolled his eyes. "You're a better liar than that." He locked his gaze on her, scrutinizing her with an intensity she had never seen. "Give me the truth."

Cuddy gripped the steering wheel harder, steadying her hands. Why was it so hard for her to admit? Just what was stopping her from finding the words to say?

She swallowed hard. "Fine, do you want the truth, House?"

He nodded, remaining silent.

"You were right. I need you."

As Cuddy let the words drop from her mouth, she braced herself for him to gloat or to persist in analyzing her motivations.

He did neither. He simply smiled. "Alright."

They drove in silence the rest of the way.

* * *

"What do you mean the conference is cancelled?" Cuddy asked the receptionist in shock.

"I'm sorry ma'am, but they had to cancel the conference this year. It was on short notice, but they did send everyone notification a few weeks ago."

"They did?" Cuddy did her best to hide her bewilderment. "It must have just…slipped my mind." She smiled weakly at the receptionist and turned away.

"What's wrong?" House asked.

"There's no conference. I can't believe this!" Cuddy shook her head. "I don't understand, why didn't they send us any warning?"

"Oh. About that…"

She eyed him suspiciously.

"I may have deleted all of the messages. And intercepted your mail. And maybe even bribed a few people to keep their mouths shut." House admitted.

"What?! Why would you do that, House?"

He shrugged. "You needed a break."

Cuddy stared at him in disbelief. "You have got to be kidding me. Driving with you for four hours is supposed to be some sort of a break?"

"When was the last time you drove across the country just for the hell of it? When was the last time you made pit stops while blasting your stereo and you didn't have to think about any patients? When was the last time you did **anything** that didn't revolve around work?" House scoffed. "You needed a break, Cuddy."

Had this whole trip been some kind of goodwill from House? Had he really wanted her to relax? Life was wearing her a little thin and she had been looking forward to this trip for weeks. Maybe this was the break she deserved. And House had been the one to deliver it.

She looked at him wordlessly.

"You're welcome." He replied quietly, avoiding her gaze.

She smiled in spite of herself. "Well, we're here, and we have a few hours. We might as well go grab a bite to eat. Know any good places around here?"

House grinned. "No, but the fun is in the finding out!" He headed back to their car in higher spirits than she had seen him in months.

Cuddy didn't believe in Karma, but she wondered what she had done to deserve such a miracle.


End file.
